Engaging Men and Boys; Disengaging Violent Masculinities

Engaging Men and Boys; Disengaging Violent Masculinities
By: Anthony Keedi, ABAAD

When I was a child, I loved playing “Super Heroes.” They were strong and powerful, using their power to fight evil. Whether they flew, used martial arts, or guns, they all had an element of violence to them. That was alright, though, as they were always fighting evil. I even remember thinking as a little kid that “they don’t hit just anyone, only the bad guys”.

In essence, I learned as a young boy that there was such a thing as “righteous violence.” I learned that if one has power and uses that power, through violence, to combat evil, it is not only ok, but admirable. I was not the only boy to learn this lesson. The use of masculine folk heroes who use violence to fight “evil” can be found in every single culture and all through history. From Beowulf and Gilgamesh to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, young men and women are raised to place honor and gratitude for those (especially men) who use violence to fight “evil”.

 "Security Council Observes Moment of Silence for Victims of Beirut and Paris Attacks" (UN Photo)

As a young adult, when forced to answer my own understanding of when it would be justified to use violence, I was forced to ask the question, what is “evil”? Unlike the fictional “heroes” of my childhood, there is no clear cut character whose sole desire is to destroy the world. In fact, I started to realize that “pure evil” did not exist. In reality, most of my altercations had more to do with miscommunication; with seeing my “enemy” as a member of “the other group”, with differing opinions, etc. I was forced to come to the conclusion that most of the fights I had gotten into, only resulted in more conflict and personal cost for myself and my opponent, as well as come to learn the importance of true empathy. If I had taken the time to understand the other person, or even try, there were a million different and more effective solutions to our conflict then violence.

There is no such thing as “righteous violence” In fact the “evil” we identify and fight today might also see us as “evil”. They might be acting on their perception of historical injustices. They may come from lands that are underdeveloped; their people are being exploited for their country’s natural resources (e.g.  oil, blood diamonds, conflict metals and minerals). If we can justify the use of violence when combating evil, yet we cannot clearly define evil or at least be consistent in our definition, then anyone can commit violent acts as long as they can convince others that they do so in the name of peace.

The only undeniable truth pertaining to violence is that it begets violence. What can be consistently expected in response to the use of violence is: retaliation, escalation, abuse, death, economic insecurity (except for those selling the weapons), depletion of resources, lost opportunities for peace and development, and an increased vulnerability to personal and structural violence for members of that society who are already greatly vulnerable and at risk (whether they be refugees, racial and ethnic minorities, people with non-heterosexual sexual orientations, or women and girls).

It is for this reason that we must begin to ask better questions of how militarised and violent our societies are becoming. For decades, feminist writers, leaders, and organisations have written about non-violent conflict resolution. They have championed an approach that is not based on dominance, but on co-existence. Most importantly, they have written and preached about the prevention of violent conflict, so that we do not have to bear witness to the devastation and personal anguish that follows attacks such as the ones that have taken place this year alone in Nairobi, Paris or in areas of the world (like my own, Beirut) where such violence is so habituated that there is barely a response at all (both globally and/or nationally). We have to believe invest in these leaders and models.

Evil people do not give birth to violence. Violence gives birth to evil people.